I met a guy from college; we took the same classes together and Ive known him for 5 years. He seemed interested in me but, never presued me. Only for his sexual needs or if needed me. I was star struck by him and instantly attracted to him. I thought of him as the one. Throughout those years, we would reconnect and stop talking once the word “relationship” was brought up. I stop searching for him and he would find me again. He started introducing me into his life and family. I felt those feelings to rekindle again and I started to love him. I recently found out, he was searching online for other women to date. I questioned, why not me? I am always here for you. He shrug the conversation off and said, Im not interested in dating you. He gave me three reasons why and his three reasons why for himself. After that, I stopped texting him for a month. Last week, he wrote me saying, I miss you. I was happy again but, unsure at the same time. He said, I would invite you over but, youre not interested in fooling around. We should meet in public now. This made me feel bad and I told him, I thought you were sincere about missing me but, you only miss sex. Then he responds negativity, This shit right here is why we will never date ever. Youre childish ways. You undo the chance for “us”. My weekend to this point has been depressing. I pray to God for help but, I feel sick to my stomach and cry myself to sleep. Im starting to think, all those years of using me and he never wanted to date me. All those thoughts haunt me and torment me. I want to hide myself away. I dont feel beautiful eventhough, Im a talented singer, model, artist, and a dancer. I feel bad because I always wanted him but, he never wanted me. My heart is sad and I dont know. Maybe, it is my fault.