God healed me of Anxiety, Depression and Bi-polar disorder
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toddwilliamsindyPrayers: 15Requests: 2
June 10, 2017 at 12:04 amI hope that it’s ok to post my testimony here. I felt that God wanted me to get this out to others. I did not deserve this miracle but God did it anyway and he will do it for you too. Here’s my story of deliverance, I hope it will help you;
I am probably one of the best examples that you will ever find, of “how bad” things can be going for a person a year ago, and how good they can be now…
The condition I found myself in this time last year; in March of 2016.. Is such a frightening pitiful site I don’t even want to go into specifics… Just know, that it was as bad as it can get and the lowest point of my entire life. I had exhausted every resource I could, to try and pull out of the situation I was in, but everything kept imploding in on me anyway.
A battle I had fought with depression and anxiety for over 40 years had finally turned into the perfect storm to destroy me. I thought “well this can’t get any worse” and it did. I thought to myself “this is absolutely unbearable” and then it became even more unbearable..
I had begged and pleaded with God for so long to bring me out, that I finally just stopped asking Him, and just checked out spiritually. I had tried so hard to keep holding on, knowing in my heart that God must have a plan, but I sure saw no signs of a plan. I felt He had deserted me, and I questioned if he had ever really been there to begin with.
At the time I felt like a tortured animal.. I could not sleep.. I had no money.. I was unable to hold down a job because my condition had become debilitating.. I had become what I had feared the most.. a liability to the ones I loved. I really did try with everything I had left in me, but could not break out of this horrible dark place. There was not a doctor, or medicine I had tried that could help me and I had tried the whole gamut over the last 15 years.
Before this starts sounding to negative, let me say that this does have a happy ending.. When God did decide to bring me out… it was an amazing thing to witness. It was literally like he reached in and grabbed me by the shirt collar and pulled me out of that deep black hole I was in!
For a while, I questioned God as to why He let it go so far.. and why he waited so long.. I was convinced that I had gone into such a bad place, it had done permanent damage.. Damage that not only hurt me as I was going through it, but that would even make an imprint on my future, if I did survive. I thought to myself.. “God if I’m your child, this feels an awfully lot like child abuse”.
Well, I’m thankful to say; it didn’t ruin my future. When God decided to move for me “Wow, did he ever do it in a big way”… He started first with healing in my mind. The anxiety left.. I started sleeping peacefully at night, the depression left, and none of this has been back again (at any level) for over a year now…
After I experienced this first stage of healing, then God began the process of “making me whole”. This happened as I went along day by day… God began reconnecting the pieces of my relationship with him.. He spoke to me, one morning last winter in the most unexpected way.. I was walking my little dog “poky” in the snow. He would walk a few steps and get ice in his paws, and then start to stumble around. I kept picking him up cleaning out the ice between his pads, and warming his feet until he was ok to walk again.. We repeated this for a while, and then God spoke to my heart and said.. This is the way I love you.. I have cradled you with this same kind of tender care and concern through it all, even when it seemed I wasn’t there, I was. I really did care and I didn’t want you to even have the slightest discomfort… I know that may sound simple to some, or maybe even silly, but God knew exactly how to speak to me and what I needed to hear in order to break down the wall I had built up between Him and I. “I thought God had let me down and I was so wounded and angry”… It amazes me how God was able to use something as simple as walking my dog, to speak volumes to me. In that instant God healed years of damage and wounds inside me and the wall came down..
Once He mended our relationship, he started to reveal to me (as he continues to do).. some of the reasons he did allow me to go through these horrible times; and how I would reap many benefits from having endured all of this. Here are some of the things God has shown me so far;
1.) For the first time in my life I am really comfortable in my own skin. I was always so nervous and insecure before… I can’t find words to explain this blessing, but I believe somehow it was born out of the great suffering I endured..
2.) I have “perfect peace” that really does surpass all understanding, like I’ve never had before..
3.) I have become hardened to difficult times.. My heart is not hardened but now when “difficulties” come, they don’t impact me like they did before. I feel I have a force field around me.
4.) I have JOY that really is so great it can’t be described with words. It just floods my soul every minute of the day.An example of how real this Joy is, I can share with you from a few days ago. I had talked for a few moments with a stranger in a car repair shop. Out of the blue she look at me and said: “You bring joy with you wherever you go”.. I realized after I left the shop what a big deal it really was for me to hear that I was putting out that kind of energy and here’s why.
I could not help but reflect back to this time last year. My typical day consisted of so much pain I spent most of my day trying to plan suicide. I sobbed uncontrollably all through the night, every night, month after month, with nothing but such a deep sorrow inside me.. I would have loved (at the time), to have cried myself to sleep, but sleep would not come. My family asked me to sleep in a different part of the house because my crying all night would keep them awake. I could not find a moment of relief. If you have never experienced this, I can only describe it as the worst of torture… After living through this period, I will never take peace of mind for granted again.
As God started my restoration process, He provided the perfect job for me. A place where I have become successful, and a place that provided me a spiritual support system and an environment where I could just heal up. I am now more on top of things professionally, than I ever have been. My future is very bright, and I’m now easily able to do things I never could do before.
My deliverance has had a ripple effect… All of my relationships are being mended. My relationship with God is better than I ever imagined it could be. I have a back and forth dialogue with Him every day. It just keeps getting sweeter and sweeter every day and I just keep enjoying it more and more. All the static and negativity of this world has just faded into the fringes, and God has lifted me up above all the fray and circumstances.
God loved me.. even with all my failures, even though I was weak, unfaithful, broken, and flawed.. he loved me anyway.. He not only loved me enough to heal me (which I did not deserve).. but also, He’s began to awaken spiritual gifts in my life that are uplifting me and others… I’m continue to discover these gifts everyday…. there is something new He’s revealing all the time.. In my weakness and brokenness.. His strength and love was made perfect.. It is true what they say “God does use those that are broken”.
I know that I am nothing in myself, but with Christ in me now I realize I really can do anything. I have truly went from victim to victor.. My new found unmovable confidence is in Him.
Walking in this new victorious mindset.. I still, fail God some days, and then other days I have victories. I know that he loves me just the same even in my failures. Nothing could make me doubt that now.
When you have been through hell and back again, and survived it.. I believe that God is qualifying you for something!.. To do great things in his name, and by his anointing, may come at a great cost. God may have to dismantle us in order to build us back up into the person that can realize and receive His best plan to be what He wants us to be. This finally helped me understand and put in perspective the “Why” behind my suffering.
If he would do this kind of total healing for me… He will do it for you… I can promise you this, You, still have a future! I am living proof of that! Please don’t give up better days are right ahead of you. We are all guilty of feeling “God wouldn’t use me”.. but that could not be farther from the truth.
I am a witness to the fact that God still cares.. he cares about the details of our lives.. because they matter to us they matter to him. He loves you and me with such a deep burning love.. He is a God that never tires of giving us “another chance”. He will Never allow anyone to miss out if they want Him. If you want God, then He wants you so badly… I don’t care how far down you’ve gone. He will not let you miss out on his great plan for your life, if you just hold on to him and keep going.
I believe God is raising up a remnant of people in these last days; that will desire a closeness with him, and that want to walk with him and have a sweet daily dialogue with Him… He wants you and I to be a part of it. This is his plan, if we will just accept it, and it’s so great and so good, that it’s beyond our wildest imagination.
Be encouraged, your answer is on the way. Even when you’re waiting on your answer and deliverance and still in pain.. you can still be OK and happy in his presence right now. Experience this peace and joy immediately.. Just step into and stay in his presence. Let him know your waiting there for Him. He won’t let you down.
You don’t need anything else but God. God, by Himself, is more than enough to make you complete!
I love you, and I’m praying for you. Please keep me in your prayers too. If I can pray for you or help any further feel free to email me at toddwilliamsindy@hotmail.com
May God keep you and bless you. I love you.. Todd
soundyaaPrayers: 3085Requests: 12
June 10, 2017 at 6:53 amThank you for sharing Brother Todd. Will need time to read again. God bless your weekend. Will post/email again.
pentb005.320Prayers: 35Requests: 4
June 10, 2017 at 10:32 amDear Todd,
Your testimony is so beautifully inspiring, I love how God speaks to us in the most unexpected and amazing ways! 😀 Recently I have been thinking and trying to be more thankful about everything God has given me, and your wonderful testimony has consolidated what I need to do, and pray for in my life. I need to embrace God’s joy and not take it for granted, I know for certain I haven’t been through what you have been through and I could never imagine how you felt. I need to be grateful and I need to stop complaining about things that other people would be more than happy to have in their lives, and I need to start sharing God’s joy with others. Thank you for helping me realise that. And I thank God immensely for inspiring you to share your testimony, it has inspired me to be grateful and joyful, thank you.
From BeeSheilaTPrayers: 2920Requests: 24
June 10, 2017 at 7:19 pmAwesome!! Thank you Jesus! Brother Todd I ready your entire post and loved it . The part that really resinated with me was
“I believe God is raising up a remnant of people in these last days; that will desire a closeness with him, and that want to walk with him and have a sweet daily dialogue with Him… He wants you and I to be a part of it. This is his plan, if we will just accept it, and it’s so great and so good, that it’s beyond our wildest imagination.”
So May God bless you and keep you brother Todd! Keep giving this testimony and as the word tells us in Revelation 12: 11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
This will be fulfilled in your life as you keep giving the testimony- You will overcome the accuser of all brethren!What a blessing this is and a confirmation of what I have been hearing. Indeed God is raising up a remnant and we cannot be sleeping ! We need to be awake praying in the wee hours of the night and as the spirit leads we must wake up early and pray and God who sees what is done is secret will reward us openly!
Glory to the King!!toddwilliamsindyPrayers: 15Requests: 2
June 11, 2017 at 2:00 amDear Sister Bee,
Thank you so much for the kind words. You have encouraged me to share my testimony more often. I can just sense the love and kindness that comes from your message. I’m new to the DAB site and recently started listening to DAB.. I’m very thankful to meet family like you here. God bless you! I’m so very happy to hear that this was a blessing to you.. ToddtoddwilliamsindyPrayers: 15Requests: 2
June 11, 2017 at 2:09 amDear Sister Sheila,
What a blessing your words are to me. I really appreciate what you shared about praying morning and night and I am feeling that word you shared is something I needed at this moment to encourage me to press in more for that intimate walk with God I desire more of. I am thankful for God’s anointing on your life, and thank you for encouraging me.. ToddsoundyaaPrayers: 3085Requests: 12
June 11, 2017 at 9:40 pmDear Brother Todd,
Thank you for sharing.
This is what I felt called to pray for when thinking about what you wrote. A prayer for a rhythm (prayer, worship and the word) with God that is sustainable and that enables and continues a growth of character. I pray that you would be able to use your gifts to encourage others and that God would continue to inspire you and direct you in his path. I pray that you would know when he wants you to be patient. Praying in Jesus name. Amen.kathyshirlockPrayers: 53Requests: 19
June 12, 2017 at 10:41 pmDear Brother Todd,
Thank you for your testimony. It is inspiring.
Thank you once again.pentb005.320Prayers: 35Requests: 4
June 13, 2017 at 5:03 pmDear Todd,
You’re welcome, and once again thank you for posting and encouraging us 🙂 .
From BeegzuzfrkPrayers: 28Requests: 8
June 15, 2017 at 9:39 pmDear brother Todd,
Powerful, powerful testimony!!! You have no idea how much your testimony has impacted my life this past week, since I read it. I have been experiencing very similar issues as yours, and for a very long time. But since reading your testimony, I have felt changed, like God can and will do something like that for me. And since then, I have felt much better emotionally, and have started riding my excercise bike again, and have been a powerhouse at work. Thank you so much for sharing your story! And I will keep you in my prayers as well. God bless you!
BrentSheilaTPrayers: 2920Requests: 24
June 15, 2017 at 9:43 pmThank God for the obedience of Todd posting this message.
To God be the glory! Blessings on you Todd and everyone that reads the message
AmensoundyaaPrayers: 3085Requests: 12
June 16, 2017 at 1:17 pmYes, I have been reflecting more on this and how needed it is for men. I am reminded of a friend who just over a year ago took own life and that as men (me included) it is hard to be real, to be open and to share what is going on inside or what we are living. In and around my aged group ( middle aged men) suicide has skyrocketed e.g., http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/the-filter/11965029/Middle-aged-male-suicide-rate-rises-by-40-per-cent-since-2008.html
So thank you Todd for this, if I am honest I find the difficulties you face hard to read, because I see myself in it. But I pray that it can further help and inspire others.
God bless your day. Your brother Andy in Christ.junniperjoyPrayers: 2Requests: 4
June 16, 2017 at 1:48 pmThank you for sharing your story… parts of it sound familiar to me. I am encouraged to hear the hope you have now. God is truly Amazing!
toddwilliamsindyPrayers: 15Requests: 2
June 16, 2017 at 9:03 pmTo my dear brothers and sisters in Christ. I’m so blessed to hear your encouraging words and prayers toward me. Kathryn, Bee, Sheila, Jen, thank you so very much! What sweet loving hearts you have (I can just feel the love).
Dear Brent, I appreciated your email.. your story touched me so much and I am overflowing with joy and just thrilled that you have been able to draw some encouragement from what God has brought me through. As I prayed for you this morning Brent, God showed me something I wanted to share with you… I saw in the sprit that Christ Himself was wrapping His arms around you Brent.. And as he embraced you I could see you lay your head over on his shoulder and you were so tired, and then Christ laid his head on yours. I began to weep at the sight, it was so precious to get a glimpse of your healing begin to take place and unfold… The Spirit of the Lord was like a cloud in my office… I pray this will minister to you and that it will help propel you through the process of “being made whole” day by day as you go along. God has some wonderful things in store for your future.
Dear Andy, thank you for the specific prayer you prayed for me it was right on point. I also appreciate your bringing attention to how big of a need we have in the Body of Christ, to rally around those who are hurting and that have lost hope. It is so important to look beyond the surface with those who can’t express their emotions (often men)..
May God Bless you each one of you, and happy Fathers day. If you ever feel you’d like to share my testimony with others please do it… I think we are much stronger together sharing our stories, our hearts and victories!soundyaaPrayers: 3085Requests: 12
June 16, 2017 at 10:25 pmThank you Todd have a happy Father’s Day too.
God bless your weekend in Jesus name.ny2sf3000Prayers: 28Requests: 7
June 16, 2017 at 11:22 pmI thought I was coming to ask for prayer instead I found I came to read this. Thank you Lord for healing Todd. Thank you Todd for having the courage to be healed.
freemunjiPrayers: 14Requests: 2
June 17, 2017 at 9:43 amAmen, Jesus! Glory to your name. He who the Son sets free is free indeed! God bless you and keep you each and every hour and minute and may He break the strongholds in my son’s father’s life. I believe he struggles in similar ways as you have. God is God all by himself and I glorify His name and awesome plan for our lives, each and every one of us for all of eternity!
Amen!
thespaatsaintnouveauPrayers: 300Requests: 48
June 21, 2017 at 2:52 amI’ve struggled with the words to articulate just how much this post has touched me. Keep sharing your testimony. The lord is using you. So many people need to hear this. Don’t ever hesitate to tell someone what the lord has done for you. You may not feel like you are making an impact but you are. I’m praying that the lord will continue to open doors for you to have a broader platform to tell your story and share his love. This message needs to be shouted from the rooftops. He didn’t just open doors and windows for you. He opened up heaven. He knew what he was doing. Keep praising him. He has so much more in store. I hear the voice of the lord speaking to me saying “your weaping is not over.. but instead of weaping with sorrow you will ” weap” with joy and laughter.” Don’t hold it in when you feel the Holy Spirit taking over your body with such emotion that you feel you can not control yourself, he is going to use this not only to touch you but to touch all of those around you.
Amen!
Thanks again!toddwilliamsindyPrayers: 15Requests: 2
June 26, 2017 at 9:12 pmTo; thespaatsaintnoveau
How can I ever thank you enough for obeying the Holy Spirit. Your message helped me more than you know. I sure hope you see my response here. I can tell that your words were straight from the Lord and just for me. Praise God for you and your obedience!
With Love your brother, ToddSheilaTPrayers: 2920Requests: 24
June 26, 2017 at 10:13 pmAmen brother !!Keep this message moving !! May the Spirit of God overwhelm you ! May God’s Angels encamp around you ! May God fully equip you with His Armor !May you forge forward with a message that will help many be set free! We have so many hurting people ! It takes a testimony like yours to literally make many realize that indeed there is hope !
God bless you and keep you brother!
AmenthespaatsaintnouveauPrayers: 300Requests: 48
June 27, 2017 at 4:27 amTodd,
Thank you! I needed this today. I know I have been obedient. I recently sent a message that I feel may have come across as harsh. I take the lords business very seriously. I just really appreciate your response.
ShannontoddwilliamsindyPrayers: 15Requests: 2
August 29, 2017 at 2:06 amAll that come here seeking relief from the torcher of anxiety and depression… believe me I understand how horrible it is. I love you and I will pray for you! God will come to your rescue and God will take care of you and turn your life around. You may have forgotten what it’s like to be happy but God will turn your mourning into dancing. Jesus loves you and so do I.
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