My Stepson passed away and I don't know what to do
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vitolo212Prayers: 14Requests: 5
July 31, 2017 at 4:55 amIt’s almost one week since my 21 year old stepson passed away. I wish someone would tell me what I’m supposed to do; I feel like I’m going to jump out of my skin. In addition to mourning his death and sad that I was not allowed to go and visit him while he was in a coma for one week, I feel like I have nowhere to go with these feelings. I mean I have been pouring my heart out to the Lord for my husband but he won’t talk to me. He was on his way to divorce me and I suppose that he divorced me in his heart sometime ago… and now this horrifying tragedy and I can’t be with him. I love my husband Freddy so much and I can feel the weight of his pain but I can’t be with him. He’s closed me out; we only spoke briefly 4 days ago. He asked me if I would arrange a memorial up here in New York in a few weeks; in the meantime he’s in Virginia with “his family” where the funeral will be and I can’t bear that the man I married doesn’t consider me a part of his family. I just want to love him and help but he doesn’t want my love. He doesn’t need me. It hurts so bad on so many levels I feel like my heart is going to explode and it’s so hard to function. How do I go about my days? Going to work? Communicating/interacting with people, take care of all of my other responsibilities, when I’m not allowed to have any communication with my own husband who is experiencing what I consider the worst pain imaginable to us as human beings in this world…losing his precious boy? I pray constantly and have been diving into the scriptures but I feel like I’m going to go crazy; really lose my mind. Of course, I pray that he will seek the Lord and I keep saying, “I trust You Lord with all of this.” and I do but again, how do I go day to day like this? I want to run away; I want to actually run to my husband and hold him and let him cry and hold hi tighter. I don’t know friends; my heart is just so heavy.
soundyaaPrayers: 3085Requests: 12
July 31, 2017 at 5:40 amDear Sister Gloria,
From what you say your husband has made a choice during this time of grief, which from your other email may not be what he completely wants to do. Knowing this I pray you continue to give the pain you have to the Lord, knowing he cares for you. Remember your husband has reached to you for the memorial so put efforts in to that. That is what God has planned. I believe your husband needs to know you are around for him at any time when he needs, I am sure he knows that. Remember, Jesus said my father is constantly at work each day and I am too (John 5:17) and he has no boundaries, know that this is a step of trust with God that he is working things for your good (Romans 8:28). Think the first relationship in your life has to be with God and in the hardest times he stands close by ready to comfort and protect. In my hardest days I could see Jesus but thought why is he doing nothing? But as I look back I understand he was saying I am close come to me (Matthew 11:28). For me that began by spending any spare moment, in prayer, worship or the word. When you are that close you are under his wing where you will be able to cope (Psalm 91:4). I hope that helps I am praying for you know Gods plans are good and he is working for you, so if he is working for you and he is able wait on him, do not try in your own effort, give everything to the one who loves you most.
Your brother Andy in Christvitolo212Prayers: 14Requests: 5
July 31, 2017 at 2:54 pmThank you Andy, I appreciate the encouragement so much. I am doing just that and I will continue. I just have these moments where it feels like I’m going to lose my mind with my own grief…then I feel somewhat guilty for being selfish…so many emotions rolling around in my head and heart.
Thank you for the Bible verses; I’m particularly pondering John 5:17; I will recall that one throughout the day if I begin to worry and get anxious.beth707Prayers: 29Requests: 60
August 1, 2017 at 12:00 amMay God bless you and wrap his arms around you as you go through this most difficult time !
soundyaaPrayers: 3085Requests: 12
August 1, 2017 at 4:55 amAmen Sister Bettie praying in agreement with your words.
Dear Sister Gloria,
I pray you do not feel guilt or selfish all your actions and words come from concern and love for others. I will start praying for God to be present in any interaction you have with your husband. I pray that in the time before further contact that God would stand so close and when needed carry you through the difficulties. I pray that there is others close to you that could give you comfort at this time and pray with you. Have a blessed day.SheilaTPrayers: 2920Requests: 24
August 1, 2017 at 12:55 pmMay God give you peace in this difficult storm that you are facing. May God be your tower and refuge. When everything around you is sinking may He be your strength. I pray that you will sense His peace and that every fear in you may be swept away. May the Lord give you soundness of mind so you wont feel overwhelmed.
Once again know that we are praying for you .PraiseHimPrayers: 1075Requests: 110
August 1, 2017 at 6:07 pmI’m so sorry to hear about the very difficult situation you are in. I hear you describe how you’re feeling and can understand how you say you don’t know what to do. I hear how you’re doing the right thing by praying and casting your cares and concerns, pain and grief on the Lord. Keep doing that and know that He will care for you and lead you. As difficult as it may be to keep functioning normally, I encourage you to go easy on yourself, extend and receive all the grace you need right now and just rely on God to help you take each step to do all the things you need to do to be healthy and responsible. He will help you. You can do it. Keep expressing how you’re feeling on the Prayer Wall so that we can be praying for you. I know it helps. While I understand your desire to be with your husband and help him at this time, please don’t dwell on those feelings because I can see how they will only work against you. You are loved. Love yourself right now. Take good care of yourself so that you can be in a position to help others at the right time. I hope you understand what I’m saying here. Father, thank you for this request and for Gloria. You see. You know. You understand. I ask that you help her rest in you. Help her with each step throughout the day…everything from getting out of bed in the morning, to showering, eating healthy meals, drinking water, dressing for work, getting to work, doing her job, etc. Let her understand how to extend lots of grace to herself so that she is not pressuring herself to “be normal” right now. Teach her how to walk with you through this time and discover how to discover and accept that a new normal is coming and that it will be good because your plans for her are good. Let her look forward and not look back. Let her trust you completely and rest in you. Guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Let her reject thoughts that are not from you. Thoughts of losing her mind, bursting, not being able to function, of needing to comfort her husband and be in his life if he is rejecting her, etc. I’m so thankful for this prayer wall. You know I went on just now because I was feeling discouraged and overwhelmed with my situation today and yet I chose to read Gloria’s request first. I’m so glad I did. I care about her. I know you are acting on her behalf even now. You are acting on behalf as well. Thank you Daddy! You are SO good! Living this life can be so hard. It often feels too difficult at times, but like Jesus, we set our face toward the plan and go forward on our mission here. Through Christ we are more than conquerors. I have to remind myself about what is true and keep focused on it and on you. Thank you for always being here for us and for letting us love each other through prayer and this prayer wall. Thank you for everyone praying for Gloria and her husband. You are at work! I will rest in that. Thank you Jesus! Today we will praise you when times are hard or easy. We give you glory and praise! You are good. You are for us. You are in control. Ahhhhh. A big sigh of relief. Amen and Amen.
Please write back again, Gloria. You sound like a very dear person and I’m sorry for what you’re going through right now.
With love,
Janelsimplify44-infoPrayers: 63Requests: 11
August 2, 2017 at 8:28 amPraying, dear Gloria.
You will come through smiling, with God’s help step by step. He is faithful.vitolo212Prayers: 14Requests: 5
August 3, 2017 at 4:44 amThank you all so much for lifting me up in your prayers. I’m so thankful for this community. You truly give me the strength to go forward each day, looking up to our glorious Lord and Father.
I have some days that it seems so dark but I think those days are becoming fewer and farther between. The more I delve into God’s words and the more I reach out, the more strength I feel to openly express His love to many others through my days…that’s the beauty of being this “one body but many parts…” as you all encourage, comfort and lift me up, I’m able to go out there in this big crazy city and boldly do the same for people I meet…on the street, bus, subway, in stores, at work.
Today was my stepson’s funeral, in Virginia; I haven’t heard a word from my husband in 6 days. I have no idea what’s happening in his head and his heart; he doesn’t respond to my texts but I sent him a few anyway…letting him know that I love him. I know that I have to stand in the gap for him and I thank you all for standing with me in agreement. The enemy would love to see him dragged down to the pit but I’m believing that “whatever the enemy intended to harm him (or us), GOD INTENDS to use for our good.”
God will make all things beautiful in his time, right? And I will go on believing that God will restore the relationship with Himself and my husband as well as our marriage.
I was ready to give up for while there but I now I have a renewed resolve to stand and fight for my husband and for our marriage.
Btw, I’m also determined to get my mom back here to live with me…I’ve chosen the first week of September to move her from a nursing home in Nevada back to my apartment so she can live out her last years the comfort of her loved ones….Hoping and praying God makes a way for this….VERY challenging.
God give us all the faith, trust, love, strength,peace, discernment and favor that we all need to accomplish YOUR goals for our lives.
Be glorified Lord our God!soundyaaPrayers: 3085Requests: 12
August 3, 2017 at 5:27 amDear Sister Gloria,
That is wonderful to hear. It is my experience that in times of challenge a few things happen (1) that you are able to cope being close to God, that things that you may not want still happen but rather than those things brining you down they have far less impact. (2) God has given me (a few times) insight to his vision and heart – this is pure completely he intends NOTHING bad for you; rather he works all situations for your good, even when others hurt you or let you down. So this requires our trust in him, king David said he never new a righteous man that God let down, not one, and we are called righteous because we live in Christ. (3) The evil uses any weakness or doubt, others who are influenced by him (because they are not in Christ) to get a foothold, his aim is to steal the word and destroy you. He cant touch you in Christ, but remember their is a spiritual war raging and he capitalises on weakness. Thus, we must choose to remain close through the word, worship and prayer. I give all spare time to this, I have removed virtually all other things. (4) As you stick close to him God will become the most important relationship in your life and show up in incredible ways; the last 7 months have been the worst of my life, but recently I thanked him for it, because in it, I got so close and he revealed to me his plans and gave me incredible experiences and whilst situations were still there I was able to cope and said to him, I am all in with you. I still feel the challenge, have days when I feel things are really hard, but the experiences in church, in worship at home have been just amazing and life giving.
So in summary; he works all situations for your good (Romans 8:28), although situations may feel like they are shaking you; he will never ever leave you or forsake you (Isaiah 54:10; Hebrews 13:5), close to him you will find refuge (Psalm 91:4), he will cast out fear (Micah 4:4), his plans are good and there is a reason to hope in him (Jeremiah 29:11) his kingdom is waiting for you if you remain in him (Daniel 2:44).
God bless you in Jesus name. AndyPraiseHimPrayers: 1075Requests: 110
August 3, 2017 at 11:12 pmGiving thanks for the praise report and keeping you in prayer. Keep your armor on, stay in the Word, praise, worship and keep asking for prayer. God is at work. Thank you Jesus! Amen.
purpose2walkPrayers: 22Requests: 3
August 4, 2017 at 3:29 amI think you are handling a difficult situation with tremendous strength, Gloria. Great prayers and suggestions from others so I won’t repeat. I am just wondering if you have a Pastor available that you can talk to. It’s obvious that you are a woman of faith. I just know if I were in this situation I would need the wise counsel and emotional support of clergy during this very difficult time. So very glad you’re part of this community, Gloria! You have a beautiful heart! Praying for you and your husband!
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