I’m praying for you. I’m praying for your safety and protection and the wisdom you so desire.

This is a prayer for many- to know God’s direction.

Here’s how to know what to do. First, God is a God of peace and love. He doesn’t like to be around disorder, disfunction and acts of hate. With that said, an abusive environment is not one that he’d want for himself or his children.

It’s not okay that someone feels alright disrespecting you physically, mentally, emotionally, or any other way. An action of disrespect requires a reaction. The reaction is to advise the abuser that the disrespect will not be tolerated, or if you don’t have the backbone to do that, remove yourself from two situation. God does not tolerate disrespect of His temple. Jesus flipped over tables in a rage when some citizens did that. Your body is your temple. If no reaction is made in response to an act of disrespect, the disrespect will become normal and no change will be made.

Unfortunately, there are narcissists out here. I’m sure your relationship did not start out with abuse. No you were tricked at the beginning. Narcissists seek out the sweet spirited loving types, and they match their personality to yours until they’ve duped you into falling in love with them, and then that’s when they can transform from Hyde to Jekyll. Don’t feel bad for falling for it. You were just trying to love them.

Ultimately, the narcissist has an agenda. It’s one that the Bible warns us about- the evil one wants to steal, kill and destroy. Unfortunately, the narcissist may not be aware of the evil spirit living within them that wars against your Godly spirit. The narcissist just thinks he’s acting off of his own uncontrollable actions. The only that can conquer the evil inside this person is if on their own, willingly, they turn to Jesus Christ. Without that desire to be holy, you will go year after year waiting for change. Some change may be visible- there may be less abuse, a little more affection, etc. But ultimately traits and trends of abusers go hand and hand- without a life of Jesus Christ there is guaranteed another instance of violence going to occur, there most likely will be secret cheating and all types of other disrespect. This narcissist wants to have you as a trophy wife sitting on the shelf. A prize that was once valuable, but now is only worth grabbing off the shelf every once in awhile.

Lastly, it’s hard to leave an abuser. One, because they’ve worked so hard to tear you down that when you finally get up to escape, they’ll try and chase you for life with death threats. Two, because at the beginning you developed real feelings of love and it’s hard to separate mentally the sweet person that you know is inside them, from the monster that they more frequently show. And three, because society doesn’t do much to help an abused woman. I know a woman who was declined a restraining order even when she proved abuse and just 2 days ago she asked for police to help her remove herself from the potentially abusive environment and they left her a voicemail saying it’s they wouldn’t come by because they considered it a civil matter.

If you can escape, do so. And don’t come back unless that evil spirit has been replaced with the spirit of God. The change won’t occur immediately even though the narcissist may beg plead and cry saying they’ll change and never abuse you again. It would be best to have godly counsel in betwixt you two holding him to his promised. What do you do if you can’t escape? Trust God. Use the trial as experience to develop your character and your Spirit. Be of good cheer even in the dire situation. If you can’t find any outside help, you and God are going to have to defend your temple. With authority in your voice, you tell the abuser what they cannot do to you. Example : “Do not put your hands on me!” You may want to also remind the abuser of any past promises they made to not hurt you in attempts to turn the green Hulk back into Banner, so to speak. A time will come where you’ll have an open opportunity to escape. Always have a plan in mind. Take only the important things, God will provide the rest. Hopefully you saved up a little money too. Even if you have money, the safest place to be wouldn’t be alone anywhere, unless you’re sure the abuser can’t find you, because they hire private investigators or have access to your bank statements and can locate you. It’s best to go into a women’s shelter. Unfortunately, shelters will move you around a lot if your abuser has a good lead on you, so you may not ever get a chance to settle down.

If you do run into your abuser after leaving, there will be pleased attempts and promises. After the run around, you may be so depleted that you just want to return home for some type of rest, but if you can resist that temptation to give in, it would be best, because you’ll just find yourself having to run again in the future. It’s guaranteed that the only thing that will assure your safety, love and good treatment is if the root cause is eliminated, and the root problem is an evil, tormenting spirit inside of the abuser. The narcissist must want to lay down his life and ways of doing things and pick up God’s plan to love you like the way Christ loves the church.

I’ll believe with you that you will not be just another story on the 10 o’clock news of man killing wife. You will survive. God will protect you and show you how to be set free. Nobody in this world may seem to care about your seemingly hopeless situation , but I do. You are important.

In the name and by the blood of Jesus ?