Focus and direction
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lawrencedacusPrayers: 22Requests: 5
August 23, 2017 at 3:41 pmGood morning to my DAB Family. This is Lawrence from CA. My 1st call was played on August 2nd. I expressed that in walking away from Yahweh, l had lost my family, marriage, etc. I KNOW that He has accepted me back into His sheepfold and l am so grateful for that. Many called in to encourage me and l am thankful for that as well. I was advised by many to just focus on my relationship with the Father and just to trust Him. And l have been. And l do trust Him.
My issue is that l am truly trying hard to focus only on my relationship with Yahweh but l really miss my wife and marriage. I find it so hard not to desire her and the reconciliation and restoration of my marriage. I find myself praying about it in almost every prayer. I find myself depressed, worried, fearful and even at times having suicidal thoughts.
I am thankful for many things. For instance, I get to have my children over to my place every Friday night. I have a job (but no money because l am still taking care of the house l was asked to leave, voluntarily), an apartment and a car. So, l do try to think positively. But, there is a huge, gaping hole in me since my wife asked for a divorce back in July. I truly want to be totally committed to Christ. To truly only want what He wants for me. I truly want to be obedient to His call, commandments and voice. But l can’t help how l feel about my wife.
So please pray that our Father would either repair the breach in my marriage and heal my wife’s hurting heart from my sins or that He would remove that desire from my heart and allow us both to heal and go our seperate ways. Pray that whatever direction He sends me, l will obey and trust. I don’t want the enemy to drive me away again thru this unfulfilled desire. So please also pray that l am strengthened until our Father answers.
I love you all and will continue to pray for you as well.
lawrencedacusPrayers: 22Requests: 5
August 23, 2017 at 3:57 pmI also need to find a local fellowship here in Stockton Ca, if anyone has any suggestions.
SheilaTPrayers: 2920Requests: 24
August 23, 2017 at 10:23 pmMy brother Lawrence
I am very sorry to hear this . Did your wife divorce you for another man or is she still by herself .
Do you both talk and have you asked for her forgiveness?
For the time she has been away from you have you got closer to God?
Have you forgiven her for leaving you ?
Know nothing is too difficult for God .Here is what I will say – if the return of your wife will draw you closer to God and keep you on the narrow path that leads to Eternal life then may the desire you have for your wife stay alive and may God supernaturally soften your wife’s heart towards reconciliation
But if the return of your wife will draw you away from God and move you to the wide road that leads to destruction then may God COMPLETELY remove the desire you have for her .We are trying to be very specif here . We care for your Eternity . I care for my Eternity and each day I ask God to Remove everything from me that is Not pleasing to him ! Anything that will stop me from seeing heaven is not what the need !
As you wait on God may he do a complete surgery on you and make you the man that he designed you to be when he created you . He works miracles so know that what is impossible with man is possible with God .
He loves you and forgives you each time you repent .
May every evil arrow that the enemy is throwing at you return back to him in the name of Jesus !!!
All fear ! All suicidal thoughts and negative thoughts go back to your sender and live this man of God alone in the name of Jesus !!
AmenlawrencedacusPrayers: 22Requests: 5
August 23, 2017 at 10:41 pmDear Sister Sheila,
My wife filed for divorce because she could not forgive me for having a chlid with another woman while l was away from Yahweh. She claims that it had nothing to do with another man, although she briefly dated a gentleman back in June. I have asked for her forgiveness repeatedly. She says she does forgive me but she does not desire to be my wife anymore. I have no way to measure my “closeness” to God, to be honest. Of course, l pray more. Watch WAYYYYY LESS television. I am celebate. And l listen to the DAB almost exclusively at work and on my commute. I was once this way while married to her. So l am not sure if she is a stumbling block or encouragement.
I walked away from Yahshua over the disappointment in unanswered prayers. I walked away from my wife because of 14 years of being “defrauded” in the marriage bed (and l started an off/on affair with another woman which l ended) . Things that now don’t matter in light of what walking away has cost and is costing me.
I pray EVERY DAY to forgive all the hurt she caused me and l try to behave towards her in an attitude of forgiveness. I am not completely healed in that area and l struggle with negative thoughts about this whole thing daily.
I pray NOTHING ever draws me away from the narrow path. And, again, l am not able to see what her true effect is in that area. He used the pregnancy of the other woman and a situation with my kids that came as a result of her dating another man, to snap me out of my foolishness and He returned my love for her back to my heart. A love that had been gone or dormant for some time. So see Sis, l am confused at best.
I hope l answered your questions and that my answers were helpful to your prayers.
lawrencedacusPrayers: 22Requests: 5
August 23, 2017 at 10:48 pmThat should say, “He used the pregnancy of the other woman and a situation with my kids that came as a result of my wife dating another man………”
Also, my wife professes to be a believer (l actually witnessed to her and prayed the prayer of repentance with her back in 1999) and attends fellowship regularly.
SheilaTPrayers: 2920Requests: 24
August 24, 2017 at 1:02 amMy brother the enemy is a liar ! We shall start by asking the Lord to remove anything in your past that would hinder you from receiving any breakthroughs!
We come against any condemnation that the enemy will make against you regarding your past affair!
I plead the blood of Yahshua upon you right now and I ask the Lord to give you peace .
In the name of Yahshua (Jesus Christ ) I bind every Spirit of the enemy that is causing you confusion / pain / frustration in the name of Jesus Christ!
I am asking the Lord to break chains of the past ( sin) so that they nolonger have any hold on you !
I am praying that the Lord will soften your wife’s heart . I pray against the hand of the enemy that has attacked your marriage !! I pray that God stretches forth his arm against the enemy !I pray for grace upon you as you know forgiveness can be a very painful process , may God grant you grace to forgive and may he heal you completely .
I pray that if it is the desire of God to re unite you , that your wife starts being tender to you in the way she speaks to you and that if she is seeing another man , that God will create a rift so that she can be drawn back to you .
I also ask you to do a fast . There is so much power in praying and fasting . There are some prayers that don’t get answered unless you literally pray and fast due to the forces involved .
Know that you are in my prayers! God loves you and he sees your pain . Your tears are not in vain .
I speak life over you !!
May the enemy find nothing on you that would cause him to have a hold on you !
May you keep your focus on Christ and trust me don’t stop praying for your wife regardless of how things look . As you pray for her , God will remove all heaviness from your heart and God will draw your wife closer to him and hopefully back to you .
Be blessed my brother .lawrencedacusPrayers: 22Requests: 5
August 24, 2017 at 9:36 amSister Sheila, thank you for your encouragement and prayers. I will fast. I used to love to fast and pray. I just got hung up on results. I don’t know if you heard my call but l would pray for others and see immediate results. Then l would pray for my own issues and see delays, prayers answered differently than l had in mind or not at all. And it discouraged me to the point of not praying at all. Until l finally gave up following Christ altogether. Biggest and worst mistake of my entire life. NEVER AGAIN as He gives me strength to hold on.
I truly desire to regain my love of prayer and fasting. I have so much fallout from this situation l created but l don’t want to set myself up for more discouragement and disappointment. So, l am trying to focus on the needs of others in my prayers. I am going to set up a “Prayer Requests” box on the door of my apartment, offering prayer to all the tenants of my complex. I felt impressed upon by the Spirit to undertake that task. Pray that l am being led by Him without any selfish desire attached.
Thank you again and all praise to our Father!!!
FhhillPrayers: 26Requests: 4
August 25, 2017 at 6:15 pmLawrencedacus could you sent me your own email address before l comment on this prayer wall.
lawrencedacusPrayers: 22Requests: 5
August 25, 2017 at 8:19 pmYes, it is lawrencedacus@gmail.com
lawrencedacusPrayers: 22Requests: 5
August 26, 2017 at 7:19 pmFamily, my inability to focus on my relationship with The Father and nothing else is not lessening. It is a struggle. When l chose to walk away from Him, l did not realize how weak l would be if/when l returned. I don’t know how to operate in His strength and not my own. I keep finding myself in conversations with my wife trying to get her to see we need to trust Christ for reconciliation. Inevitably, l end up hearing things l can’t handle and saying things l shouldn’t. Even though l prayed hard before l met with her and l promise The Father l would trust Him if he gave me the strength, l feel like l failed Him in that exchange. I truly NEED help letting go. To take my hand (and mouth) out of it and give it completely over to Him, no matter the outcome. But l feel so weak and unable to do it. Please continue to pray for me. I keep looking at the waves and l am sinking.
lawrencedacusPrayers: 22Requests: 5
August 31, 2017 at 7:36 pmFhhill, if you sent me any correspondence thru email, l did not receive it.
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