I have been wanting to post something for a while. My story is probably not a new one, but I know someone needs this encouragement. About 4 years ago my wife of about 6 years started becoming distant and more and more depressed. We were a mixed family with both of us bringing 2 kids to the marriage. Our 4 kids became a family and we did and went everywhere together. I cherished my bride and she cherished me so this distance was very peculiar. She couldn’t describe what was going on but she did agree to see a therapist. Over the next year or so she became more and more distant and the therapy was not bringing any light to our situation. We also saw a therapist together and in July of 2016 she told the therapist and myself that she was molested as a young girl by a family member. As horrible as that could be, I felt like maybe this was the breakthrough we needed to attack the deeper issues together and get through it. I was wrong, she wanted nothing to do with getting help or exposing this issue further. She had kept this secret for nearly 25 years so her coping mechanism was to run away and hide the shame and guilt and hurt that she was truly feeling. She isolated herself and eventually filed for divorce. In October of 2017 we were divorced. In December 2017 she came to me and stated she was wrong and wanted to work it out. We remarried (probably not the right thing to do right away) in January 2018 but she really wasn’t ready to take on her deep wounds and by the end of 2018 we were divorced again for the second time. Unfortunately throughout all of this she refused to seek any Christian friends, Pastors , or anyone that would give her any Christlike advise. On top of this she and our daughter moved into a house of another divorced male friend of ours. You can only imagine the complexity of emotions I have endured over the last several years; anger, jealousy, fear, deep sadness, disappointment. BUT- I never lost my connection with God. I have prayed and prayed and prayed to God for understanding, strength, faith, and wisdom in handling all of this. I have asked Him to let me know how I am to treat her and the answer is always the same; Love her! What does that even look like? Well all the answers are with Jesus. He went to the cross even while we were sinners. He loves me even when I turn away from Him, and that’s how I am to Love as well. I have to say it has not been easy; even my believing friends have said I am crazy and that I should move on, but that’s not what God says. Its been over a year since our last divorce was final and she remains in a far off country, but my relationship with God has never been better. This time has given me the opportunity to clean up my old wounds, give God all my hurts, and watch God transform me to be more like Christ. My goto verse is always Proverbs 3: 5-6, I may never understand why all of this has happened, but I know God does and he will continue to work for the Good even if that Good is just making me more like Christ. Thanks for reading my rambling, I guess I could just use prayers for God to show me the next steps and of course prayers for restoration with my wife. Even things that seem Dead to the world, are no challenge for our resurrecting King! Jesus always has the last say!
God Bless