Dear Kristin,

There’s a helpful website (Christian Therapeutic Community) that I recommend called “Rapha Journey” http://www.raphajourney.com They have specific CD’s or MP3’s on specific topics and a monthly free topic. I’m part of this community and wish everyone knew about the help they can get on their own personal journey.

It’s okay to feel the emotions. God gave us emotions for a reason. When you feel the shame coming, if you can get to a quiet place (in your car or garage, or at home in a private place), allow the emotion to come, and ask the Lord about it. You’ll want to give him the emotion as it’s coming – saying sorry to the Lord for the damage is helpful. As you’re feeling the emotion, tell God that you’d like to give it to Him. It opens a place for him to work. If you’re not comfortable letting your words out about how you truthfully felt about a certain situation, write it in the form of a letter (to that person – or yourself) and ask the Lord to take it. If you still feel the emotion, and have asked the Lord to take it, more work is needed (there may be a deep root). It’s okay to take moments of your day to work on one emotion. Shame usually says “I am…” It could take days or weeks to undo the damage. Keeping a journal of your dreams, emotions, etc. is helpful because the Lord is always speaking to us. It’s a matter of tuning into His voice. He gives us clues. Ask for them.

Also, tune in to your own internal dialogue. If you’re speaking negative words in your heart or thoughts towards yourself, ask the question “where did this self-hate talk come from?” God speaks kind, loving words towards us. So, undoing these negative thoughts is critical. Psalm 139 is beautiful on His thoughts towards us.

You may try loosing the specific shame from your soul – “whatever is loosed on earth is loosed in heaven”. Pray – “As an act of my will, I choose to loose the shame” (connected with… person, place, or thing).

You can choose to loose anxiety, depression, anger, fear, or whatever negative emotion you’re feeling – and name the specific (person, place, or thing) “from my soul”. I do this on a daily basis. Life happens. It’s kind of like when Jesus told the disciples to shake of the dirt from their shoes (sandals) when they weren’t accepted in certain towns. Literally, shake the words off by loosing the mean word from your soul. Speak a word of blessing (something opposite of what you felt) to that person if they’ve been mean. All of our words are powerful and go into our souls, making us healthy or sick. A speaker I enjoy listening to about the way our soul works said this: “What we choose to enter into, enters into us”. Her name is Kat Kerr (www.revealingheaven.com).

Other helpful resources by a Christian neuroscientist, Dr. Caroline Leaf http://www.drleaf.com on getting rid of toxic emotions, and filling your heart (soul) with the goodness of God and all He has for you.

And lastly, if you’re not able to get this sorted, email me: radiojewels@live.com

With Love,
Julie