I do not trust God
kailey.mize31Prayers: 0Requests: 1
October 16, 2020 at 4:28 am
I don’t really know what to say here. I have never so openly asked for help like this before. There is a lot of bitterness and anger in my heart towards God. Since I was young there was only ever one thing I ever wanted. A family. I want the husband. Kids. Barns full of animals. The whole nine yards. My heart aches for a partner. I cannot describe how badly I wish for marriage and children. I do not understand why God would put a desire so deeply in my heart with no intention of granting that desire. Recently, I was in a serious relationship and my ex broke things off. He is already with someone else not even two months later. It has been over 6 months now and I am still completely broken. I loved him. I thought he was the one. Turns out he felt no where near how I felt about him. My whole life is upside down. I’ve had to move and am now in financial crisis trying to support myself on my own. I feel used and discarded. I feel disgusted with myself for giving so much of me to someone who did not care. I am lost and I am angry. I find myself spiteful towards God, and doubting his love for me. With all that, I feel horribly guilty that I feel this way about a God who IS love and mercy. Please pray for me. That my heart would be softened to be open to understanding. So that I might hear what God is trying to say to me through these circumstances. Please pray that I can find peace and prosperity in this waiting period I am in. Pray that I make it through. That I can find strength to carry on, however long I must wait.pattysyellowbusPrayers: 5529Requests: 46
October 16, 2020 at 4:41 am
ABBA Father! How You love Kailey.mize31! What courage she shows to post her prayer request and be so vulnerable. May we, the children of God, be gentle and encouraging to her as she pours out her heart. O Lord, we do not know why our sister’s life has not “worked” out. But we do know that You do work all things out for the good for those who love You . . . At the risk of sounding like a cliche, Father, we ask the hard question too, if you put this desire in her heart, why is it taking so long? And yet, Lord, we know that David asked the same question in the Psalms. Oh Lord, we ask that Kailey.mize31 lift her eyes to You and through her tears look to You to be her husband and come to the realization that this broken relationship was not to succeed. Dear Spirit of the Living God, please feel our sister with an outpouring of Your love — fill her to overflowing as she lets go of the bitterness and anger – help her to replace it with Your love and peace. May she find Your great JOY as she gives herself to You because You will never leave her nor forsake her. Pour Your mercy upon her so that she can know in her knower that Your Plan is in the working. Provide for her, O Lord and guide her to wisdom in her finances. Yes, Lord, give her the strength to carry on. In Jesus Name!
Interesting – Brian is talking about Jeremiah 29 today – he uses the phrase “upside down” like you!! Perhaps his commentary for today is Just. For. You. dear dear Kailey.mize31!!dchesterPrayers: 32Requests: 2
October 16, 2020 at 5:37 am
Father, we lift up Kailey to you this morning. I pray that you would wrap her in your arms and bring her the peace that only you can. Keep bitterness from welling in her heart as your timing is different than hers. Your timing is perfect and that is a hard pill for all of us to swallow at times in our lives. In your word, the father with the demon possessed son asks Jesus to heal him if he can….Jesus responds,” If you can? Everything is possible for him who believes.” The father immediately responded with, ” I believe; help me to overcome my unbelief!” Help Kailey to overcome her unbelief, help all of us to overcome our unbelief! Please continue to work in her life and allow her to see you in the small things that you are involved with each day. Restore unto her the joy of her salvation and bring her focus back to you. I do pray that you would bring the man that you have for her into her life and that your name will be glorified through their relationship. Amen!spiritdoc1Prayers: 33672Requests: 2151
October 16, 2020 at 5:38 am
A Prayer For Today “Father, thank You that I never need to get old in my heart, and that I can stay young and vibrant in my spirit. I choose to empty out the worry, mistakes, and offenses and let negative things go. Fill me with joy to overflowing. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”FearlessPrayers: 6Requests: 6
October 16, 2020 at 6:10 am
Father in Heaven I pray the Words of Your mouth, the scriptures! penetrate the pain, and the testimony of your working out my salvation through much suffering, I’m thankful for if there was any other way, I would have said take this cup away, you used evil for my greatest good! Help her through to the Glory of your will. Keep gazing at the Cross. The wieght on another person to full fill your deepest, desires will crush the other person. It is the most unloving thing you can do to anyone you profess to love. Jesus, make this beautiful creation, your bride, lift the Vail and have mercy and justice kiss. 📖 psalm85:10 Give Me Shelter True Forgiveness Thursday evening, it was just days before I was predestined to respond to Gods call on my life. I nearly fell out of my seat when my domestic violence counselor said she was going to charge me with endangering the elderly after I shared with our group the events over the past week. It was even written about in the newspaper, so I brought the article thinking it would prove I was again a victim of abuse. That kind of thinking was about to leave my life for good. My boyfriend Charlie was released from the psychiatric ward of the hospital and had tried to visit me at the Graff’s home. I would not have classified the Graff’s as elderly, though they were older than me. The counselor said I would have to leave the Graff’s. Where did she expect me to go? I had no money. I knew no one in Savannah except drug dealers, addicts, and prostitutes. I was all three. Being clean from crack cocaine for about six months, I had a thread of hope. I hadn’t used out of shear fear that Charlie might find out. I was grateful despite his abuse. The next day I waited for delivery of some money from my estranged parents. This was the only way they knew how to love me, put a band aid of money on the immediate need and hope the problem would go away. I was their problem or so it seemed for all I could ever remember. My counselor was arranging for me to go to a shelter for protection. I would file a restraining order on Monday and look for an apartment and a job. Meanwhile, Charlie was revealing all the sordid details of how we met to the kind couple who had given me a place to stay. He even accused me of using drugs in their home, which surprisingly wasn’t true. There was no hiding from the truth anymore. Turbulent tears of freedom ran down my face. Yeshua is right, the truth will set you free! As a child, I told everyone the truth about what was going on in our house. No one came to free us from the pain of abuse. Around 10 years of age I lost hope and became what our culture today would label a survivor. I tell you the truth, surviving without authentic forgiveness which can only be accomplished by Yeshua the perfect Lamb of God who was atonement for the sin of the world, is death in disguise. For 40 years I turned all my anger, unforgiveness and disappointments towards my parents and God for what He allowed to to happen in my life as a child inward, it devoured me like cancer. The Graff’s were tenderhearted, though they couldn’t understand. The money arrived and Mrs. Graff’s daughter, a believer, drove me to the shelter, on the way over she said “Whatever you’re going to do from here, you’re going to need God.” I thanked her and walked fearfully through the intake door. The worker took my information and all my belongings in exchange for some bed sheets, a few essentials and a list of duties I was responsible for during my stay. It reminded me of jail. The staff seemed bitter and merciless. I was shown my room that had four beds and two other women. I had compassion for these women. Some had three or more children and no hope but to go back to the very reason they were there! I thought I was different from them. I wasn’t. Monday, before I left the shelter I remembered what Mrs. Graff’s daughter said. I got down on my knees and prayed for the first time since I was a child. “God if your real please take the desire to use drugs out of my life. That moment the supernatural work of the Spirit of God came to dwell in me! Chief of sinners, I was able to receive love by God’s grace. He provided an apartment that day for me and I was working within a week. June 13, 2005 at 11:00 am, I was physically weak from years of all kinds of substance abuse, I was emotionally damaged from a broken home and an abusive childhood. I was in fear for my life at the hands of yet another person who said they loved me. I asked God for a miracle and He answered with more than one. He asked me to be His child. I had faith the size of a mustard seed. Matthew 17:20 20 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Yeshua paid for all sin, for all people, past, present and future! On the on the tree at Calvary with the justice of a Holy God, the death penalty. In three days He rose again, conquering sin and death. John 1:29-31 29 The next day John saw Yeshua coming toward him and said, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world! John 1:1-14 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. 6 There was a man sent from God whose name was John. 7 He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. 8 He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. 9 The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. 14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. Salvation is a free gift by Gods grace, receiving the truth seems to be the hardest part. I think because we really know we do not deserve it, nor could we ever do enough to earn it………add to that the cost. Oh it will cost you! Matthew 19:27 Then Peter said in reply, “See, we have left everything and followed you. What then will we have?” Matthew 19:29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. The Holy Spirit God, raised Him from the dead in three days, defeating death and the power of sin. The Way, The Truth, and The Life, Jesus, restores life and gives His purpose to live for, and a gift to give away. HIS LOVE! Being forgiven allows for the strength to forgive a willingness to suffer like Yeshua did on our behalf, it’s not easy but it’s definitely worth it. My dad, our abuser is forgiven. First by Holy God, Yeshua, and in turn me. He asked and was granted salvation six hours before he died. He is free now and waiting to see me. He never apologized to me or even acknowledged anything, that robbed him …. He never had a free day here on earth. Doesn’t really matter, eternity is forever, I for one can’t wait to see him. We love and do works of love now only because we are compelled because he loved us first. Eternally in Yeshua, Laura Leah Brown Galatians 2:20 20 I have been crucified with Yeshua and I no longer live, but Yeshua lives in me. And the life that I now live in my body, I live by faith, by the faithfulness of God’s Son, who loved me and gave himself for me.goingupsoonPrayers: 20011Requests: 1127
October 16, 2020 at 3:18 pm
Father, we lift Kailey to You. Lord we most of the time, don’t understand Your eternal purposes. If by Your divine will, we may catch a glimpse of Your Holy workings. Those moments are generally fleeting. We are called to walk by faith, and not by what we perceive with our eyes. This life, this walk with you. Is just that, it is a walk by faith. That means that when we are going through our most unbelievably difficult, heart wrenching circumstances. We are required as Your children, to walk by faith, and to trust that like a good Father. Your watching over us, steering us and guiding us through our present difficulties.
We are, because we want to please You. Willing to endure hardships and sorrows. Because somewhere inside of us, we know that suffering is part of our journey. And in our heart of hearts, we know that through everything that we go through. Your working something wonderful, and glorious in us. Even acknowledging this, to be brutally honest, life can be extremely difficult at times. But, we should remind ourselves that You fully understand how hard life can be. You endured more suffering, and hurtful hardships, more than we will ever experience. And You did it willingly so we could experience life everlasting. O how grateful we are for all that you’ve done for us.
Help us Lord through the difficult places. Help us to go through them as You did. Fully convinced that Your Father’s will was the only way to go. Help us to accept Your will for our lives, even though we don’t see what it is, a lot of the time. Help us to abandon ourselves to Your purposes. With hearts filled with joy, and expectation. Knowing, that what You have purposed for our lives, has Eternal worth, and value. O give us the willingness of heart, to say yes to Your will, and Your desires for our lives. Lord, we ever so need Your grace, and Your mercy. We acknowledge our failures and shortcomings. And the times we lacked faith. Help us to live this life of faith You’ve called us to, by the power of Your love.
Lord, bring Kailey a fresh new revelation of your love. and a inward assurance that You are with her, and overseeing everything in her life. Like a protective mother hen, who shelterers her brood under her wings. Help her to regain her trust in You. By the power of Your Spirit, let her to realize that Your plans for her life are just that. They are Your plans. You are sovereign, and work in ways that we don’t fully understand. Thank you Father, that Your will is that she prosper, and be in good health even as her soul prospers 3 Jn. 2
Help her to regain her faith in her God. And to once again make the commitment to trust in Him, no matter what may come. Because He is the Author of her past, present, and future. And knows where He’s taking her. Help her “O Holy One Of Israel”, to rest in your goodness. Un afraid of what’s up ahead. Fully trusting in Your love for her. And knowing that the road up ahead has already been marked. And that the Lord will direct her every footstep. Because her footsteps are ordered by the Lord. and He sees clearly the chosen path that He’s marked out before her. He will be faithful to cause her to fulfill her divine destiny. Lord, we thank You that You will be faithful to finish the work that You’ve begun in her. That was laid out before the very foundations of the world. Yes Lord, do restore to her the joy of Your salvation. And restore her trust in You.
By your grace, and Your mercy. May she find hope again. Hope for her future. A future filled with blessing! joy, and happiness. And true fulfillment in Your plans, and purposes for her life.
We pray, in Jesus name. Amen!
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