I don’t want to live, Lord, please show mercy and take my life
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AuthorPosts
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tenkai82Prayers: 7Requests: 18
September 4, 2022 at 10:05 pmHello DAB community………….it’s Justin again. Some of you maybe familiar with my story and even though I hate repeatedly bringing it up to the surface where it hurts most………….I’ll continue to share it for the chance that it may help one of you, read it all…….if you can, because it’s a lot. Also it’s not literally EVERYTHING I’m battling because there’s just too much to unpack but most of it is in here. It’s 3:15Aam and I was suppose to be at work at 2:45am but felt so fatigued and grieved when my alarm went off, I couldn’t bring myself to even began to put on my work gear. My heart is SO VERY TROUBLED AND FILLED WITH GUILT for me just being here on the prayer wall at this very second because I’m having to call out of work and leave my co-workers and worker-friends hanging in a high-preasure, short-staffed job. And I don’t even want to talk about the managers. But I’m working so much during the day, this is the only way for me to make the time to post this prayer request. It’s also the only quiet time I’ll have in all of my day because the rest is EXTREMELY noisy. Wow, that so surreal………..me realizing that I have to call out of work just so I can post a prayer on the wall. What is my life coming to? Is the end of this tunnel even close ? Do I even want to live? Right now, it’s most definitely NO…………
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” Matthew 11:28-30. I’ve been through my entire audio bible and that’s the scripture which resonates with me most. People talk of enduring, fighting the good fight as it says in 2 Timothy 4:7, no matter how much it hurts. But what about the toll “THE FIGHT” takes on you mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. When your gears are grinded down to nubs and don’t catch anymore AND THE FINISH LINE IS NOT EVEN IN SIGHT. I’m talking about when you get to the point where you’re so pained and exhausted that you stop asking the Lord for the specifics and just say, “CAN I JUST AT LEAST REST?” But it doesn’t come…….the pain and fatigue continues and multiplies to the point where LIVING just feels like torture, PUNISHMENT. Then you cry to the Lord, “PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.” But the waves keep crashing, eroding your entire being and yet God is still silent and still. So next you think to yourself, “I DON’T WANT TO FEELS THIS PAIN ANY LONGER……if I die, it will stop.” I honestly don’t understand why people seem so blinsided by the fact that the suicide rate is so high. I recently read a statistic that in the U.S. someone takes there own life every 11 minutes, IT’S REALLY THAT BAD. And for me it’s more than just life itself, being single, being a virgin, having O.C.D., having a porn addiction, financial struggles, loneliness, job stress, fatigue, toxic people in my path everyday and some of those toxic people include CHRISTANS!!!…….no……that’s just the tip of it because then comes the guilt, shame and discouragement of KNOWING the Lord wants you to have faith but you’re LOSING it with every passing day. Then thoughts swim in my mind that God has turned from me for my lack of faith. You talk about faith of a mustard seed but OHHHH MAN how some Christians have lashed out at me saying IT’S 100% FAITH OR NOTHING!!! How debilitating it is to hear a Christian say that in these trying times, especially when you were NOT brought up in the Church, so you lack the training, conditioning, knowledge, patience, stamina and understanding when it comes to seeking the Lord. My faith has run out. But the worst part about the whole battle is that I’VE ALREADY BEEN HERE BEFORE, surviving a suicide attempt, then falling right back down to wanting to make another attempt. Falling down, getting back up, falling down, getting back up again and again and again and again. EVENTUALLY, without a recognizable reponse from God, a person will NOT want to get back up. And how could you blame them? I ask God to filter the noise so I can hear his voice. I ask God to give me a sign I can recognize. I asked God to reveal himself. We ask God these things so we can find strength to press on but the SILENCE, STILLNESS, LONELINESS AND PAIN REAMAINS CONSTANT. It’s soooo exhausting. Then you’re suppose to get up and go to work in the morning. I think people are taking there own lives because they’ve been fighting FOR SO LONG and they’re just burned out and don’t want to feel the pain of the grind anymore. Then have to hear Christians you open up to judge you, chastise you and belittle your life experieces when they haven’t walked in your shoes. You look for healing, comfort, affection, understanding and compassion in your peers but it’s not there. OF COURSE THERE’S A SUICIDE EPIDEMIC!!!
My name is Justin, I’m 39 and I’ve been seeking God since my mid teens. Every Christian I know of strong faith and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE who I meet face to face has a testimony that made them CERTAIN that God is working in their lives. But after 25 plus years of earnestly and diligently seeking God, I have yet to see, hear, feel or experience anything I can UNDENIABLY identify as God moving in my life. I exercised so much patience and I worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked SO VERY HARD to bring all my hopes, dreams and desires to fruition, all good things. I also always knew EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED IN LIFE and I was always specific and consistent in my prayers. But throughout my life long search for God I’ve been bombarded with attacks and they don’t come one at a time. I get hit from ALL SIDE in ways that afflict me in ALL FACETS OF LIFE, mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, environmentally, socially and so on. My first attempted suicide was sparked off when my body became gluten intolerant, my family home was foreclosed, friends began to disappear out of my life, I was still single, I was still a virgin with a porn addiction, I developed an extreme case of O.C.D. and my dysfunctional family made me feel worse. Like “how can so many things go wrong all at once.” BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING, I wanted a wife, a “help-meet.” That was my #1 biggest dream, just to be with the one I’m crazy in love with for the rest of my existence, my soul mate. And I can’t even put into words what I put myself through just to be in position to meet her. I went to gyms, bars, clubs, restaurants, libraries, bookstores, coffee shops, grocery stores, pet stores, nature trails, theatres, birthday parties, cookouts, fireworks, swing dance, concerts, conventions, charity events and I work at the airport, THE AIRPORT, FOR 18 YEARS!!!! And the dating site, HAVE MERCY I tried so many dating sites. I was always told by people who got to know me that whoever she was would be the luckiest woman in the world because of my character. I’ve also been told by many that I’m good looking too. I mean my heart is overflowing with love and I want SO BADLY to have a female companion to share it with. All the guys I knew growing up were just chasing tail, all for lust. But even they all eventually got married and had children. Even the guys who were trouble making playboys, NOT the settling down type became husbands and fathers. But I kept my virginity, got teased about it, GOT ACCUSED OF BEING GAY OR A PEDOPHILE because I was this attractive, nice guy who can’t get a girlfriend. I’m EXTREMELY FREINDLY, outgoing, approachable, courteous, well spoken, affectionate, thoughtful, helpful, patient, level headed, fun, kind hearted, open minded, conversationally skilled and VERY ACTIVE. Eventually I gave up my search, started to believe the universe just wants me to be alone, accepted the idea that I’m just not meant to find love. Wow……….all the women on this planet and I only wanted JUST ONE. Yet here I am, nearing the age of 40 and NOT EVEN AT LEAST DATING SOMEONE!!! Hebrews 11:1 says “Faith is being sure of what we hope for.” Well……I knew with 10000% certainty that I wanted to settle down with ONE WOMAN for the rest of my life and I realized that at as a teenager, I don’t why it happened to me so young. I hoped for her to come into my life, my partner, my companion, my help, my love, my closets friend.
There were many other things attacking me too but those listed above were the heaviest. There were no Christians in my life to talk to, no one who had the love, compassion, empathy, humility, understanding and sensitivity that I desperately needed. I had already seen several therapist but the ONE that I really liked was a man named Mr. Hungerford. He was like a spiritual Christian counselor with a bachelor’s degree in psychology. I was referred to him by Ross, a friend from work who attended the same Church. Mr. Hungerford was so soft spoken, so understanding, people gravitated towards him. After our first session I felt so relieved to find someone I could talk to who I could trust with everything I was dealing with. Being in his presence made me feel close to God. I had more hope than I ever felt in my whole life. A few weeks later, I was informed that Mr. Hungerford was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer and immediately became too sick to see patients. As he was suffering, he asked my friend who referred me to him how I was doing. I think Ross told him I was stable but I don’t think Mr. Hungerford knew I was far from it. He died later that year, I was devastated and I became angry and bitter with God. “HOW COULD HE TAKE HIM AWAY WHEN I NEEDED HIM MOST?” I knew that there was something special about Mr. Hungerford because I have been around many other pastors, ministers, Church leaders and so called counselors but NOBODY gave off the kind of loving, compassionate, humbled vibrations that Mr. Hungerford possessed. I thought. After he died, I decided I didn’t want to see another therapist or counselor, NO…….NEVER AGAIN. Call me bitter, call me angry, call me a quitter, it’s fine, I wouldn’t expect anyone to understand that it felt like a part of me died with Mr. Hungerford. They say that people who are near death have a connection to the “other side” that is beyond our normal senses and that they sometimes have visions or receive messages. I asked Ross if Mr. Hungerfrod experienced that, in the back of my mind hoping he would have a message specifically for me, something inspirational or comforting. Ross told me that Mr. Hungerford said “a REVIVAL is coming.” I didn’t know what that meant. Ross said it meant a spritual revival for all who seek in the Lord. Of course that didn’t bring me comfort, I just really missed Mr. Hungerford and felt like I lost my fighting will after his passing.
I was also wrestling with thoughts some Christians planted in my head that I might be demon possessed and the worst part about that was THEY COULDN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO OR WHERE TO GO TO GET THE DEMONS OUT. Then I became bitter and untrusting of Christians as a whole and refused to ever go to Church again. With God still silent and still, in September of 2010 I decided I was going to attempt to kill myself. I bought a box of sleeping pills and during the night while my family was asleep I I sat in my closest, pitch black darkness and dead silence. I prayed to the Lord to give me a sign as He did with every other Christian I met at their lowest moment. I waited at least an hour, silent still and dark. After that point, I felt God had forsaken me or wasn’t even aware of my existence. So I swallowed all 30 pills and drank them down with wine. It only landed me in the hospital on suicide watch for a week. When I got out I thought things would get better because they say your big break comes after you hit rock bottom but things actually managed to get MUCH WORSE. “This can’t be real, did I die and go to hell?” I asked myself. I’m a giving, thoughtful, selfless, humble, compassionate, loving caring, kind, considerate, mature and hardworking man, so why do I suffer like this? I still kept seeking God after my suicide attempt. Even when I denounced God for a short while, I still felt compelled to go back though up until this very moment. But today, with this continuous flurry of punches aimed directly at me, I fear my faith has run out. I feel completely burned out in all facets of my existence. I have a full-time and a part-time job and it’s running me ragged. I prayed for an enormous financial boost so I wouldn’t have to work harder than already do and feel even more depleted than I already am but that didn’t come so I had to picked up another job and beat my body to a pulp. Having to work twice or 3 times as hard than before I cried out for healing IS NOT my idea of “rest from my burdens.” Sometimes when I’m at work, feeling so sleepy, with aching pains all over, I have to sneak out and go hide in a corner somewhere and just cry. I saw a news report about a young girl who committed suicide. She was overwhelmed trying to finish college among other personal struggles. She wrote a letter saying, “I didn’t mean to die, I just wanted the pain to stop.” I cried when I heard that because I know exactly how she was feeling. We live in such an insensitive world, including Christians. They tell us to have faith, be patient, and endure but when you’re in agonizing pain, you can’t just pretend it doesn’t hurt. Pain is pain and when it doesn’t go away or even began to heal, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT US TO DO? Especially when the Lord is unresponsive and you don’t receive any signs of deliverance to come.
And if spiritual warfare isn’t bad enough, I have the misfortune or just extremely bad luck of always running into the most TOXIC PEOPLE who for whatever reason ALWAYS get put in my path, people who for whatever reason want to just TARGET ME. And I did nothing to provoke them, I keep my eyes ahead, mouth shut, minding my own but they still find me. I’m like a HATE MAGNET……why? It really drains my spirits. It makes me feel like the enemy is ever so present but the Lord NOT. They always say that you attract people who are like you. Well my life experiences DEBUNKED that theory. I’m FAR too kind to have to run into so many toxic people. The worst part of all my suffering is feeling like all my good deeds have gone unnoticed. I’ve done SO MUCH GIVING throughout my life. I’ve always been that guy who gives rolls my car window down to give money to the poor person standing on the corner. I have any even bigger heart for poor people who have a dog with them because I love dogs. I’m the guy who always reaches in his pocket when random strangers ask for money, for gas, for food, for a hotel. I have even giving them rides, PEOPLE I DON’T EVEN KNOW, which is risky. I once literally gave all the cash I had to a man who dropped to his knees in the middle of the street for money. Another habit of mine is that I will often give twice as much when someone asked for a particular amount. A lady at a gas station asked me for $5 to get to her next destination and me knowing you can’t get anywhere with 5 bucks gave her $10. It brought her to tears and it felt good. But I still felt that void like “did God even see that?” I also give weekly donations to various charities, some of which come directly out of my paycheck. Charities like Ronald McDonald, United Way and Fellowship of Christians and Jews. Scripture says “I will bless those who give to the poor.” But when I give, I’m not think “I hope God answers that certain prayer for going this.” NO, I genuinely care about others and I hurt to see them homeless. Scripture all says God will return 10 fold what you give. But I don’t even really think about receiving that money back and if were to literally receive 10 in return, I would be a millionaire because that’s how much I have given throughout my life. When I think of being rewarded, I think of receiving rest, healing, comfort and the most warm affectionate love I have never felt before. To suffer like this despite how giving I am is like a dagger to my heart.
When I posted this prayer weeks ago, a DAB member commented in the responed. She said I should listen to music, so that I’m not dwelling on the pain of every day life. I thought that was funny and ironic because music just so happends to be my DEEPEST passion. Before I had to pick up another full-time job, much of my time went into building my onto my music. I do have a platform on a music site that I have invested over 10 years of time, work and money into but the platform is kinda small. I do gradually gain followers but it’s slower now because when I get home after working both jobs, all I have time to do is eat and shower just to have to do it again tomorrow. Ever since I was a kid I dreamed of being a famous Dj. I would often picture myself on stage playing music and seeing people go bananas on the dance floor. I pictured myself being on every radio station and getting high praise by all of today’s most popular musicians. I would often rehearse imaginary interviews I would have with Opra, Gale King, Ellen or Jimmy Fallon on my success and using that airtime to give thanks to the Lord and reach out to all the dreamers who feel hopeless, worthless or alone. I even rehearsed an imaginary acceptance speech for a music award where I would again give glory to God and acknowledge all those who feel hopeless and alone. But back to Hebrews 11:1 about being certain in what you hope for, having a career in musics is exactly what I wanted to do and honestly felt like that was my purpose because I know how music impacts people and what could be better than being able to pay the bills doing the thing you love and enjoy. But anyway, all that feels out of reach now that I have lost hope. And I don’t even know for certain if music is what God’s purpose for me is. I don’t have any idea how God sees me……….if at all
I never expected God to answer all my prayers all at once. But I thought, by now, after the 25 plus years seeking God that he might deliver me in AT LEAST ONE of many areas in my life. He could give me the wife I searched, hoped, prayed, wished, worked and waited for. He could heal my irregular bowels, heal my food allergies, heal my O.C.D., he could heal my enlarged prostate, he could heal my feet which are damaged from my kind of work. He could give me a finiancial blessing so I can clear all debts. He could give me the career in music I dreamed of, the career I waited, prayed and worked SO VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY hard for. He could deliver me from my porn addiction. He could heal my doubt, lack of faith, hope and self-worth by revealing himself to me. He could divert the toxic people who are ALWAYS CONSTANTLY in my path. He could put better, more helpful loving people in my path and I mean PHYSICALLY, not just in thought. He could exorcise the demons some Christians think have cursed and taken possession of me. He could motion friends who stopped responding to me to reach back, so I could at least believe someone is thinking about me. He could help me at least sleep better at night. I know you probably won’t believe me but those are still yet to be anwsered.
Before I conclude, I want to comment about how insensitive so many people in the Christian community are some of them here on DAB. It’s bad enough the world is so full of toxic people who attack you, hate you, bully you, target you and you did nothing to deserve it. But it’s 10x worse when Christians make us feel less-than and I have met some DIGUSTING CHRISTIANS. Feeling lonely, after a terrible day, some of us don’t have someone at home waiting to wrap their arms around us then kiss us on the forhead. Some of us have NO ONE waiting at home for us. Then we come here to DAB to express how lonely we feel because quite frankly some of us really are ALONE. Loneliness is a silent killer because it leads to feelings of worthlessness, which leads to thoughts of suicide. Then we come here to DAB to express those feelings and everyone says the same thing which is that the devil is putting those thoughts in ours heads and not to believe it. Well…..that notion doesn’t make us feel better. We’re emotional creatures, social creatures, creatures of companionship, loneliness is LONELINESS. We don’t believe that way because the devil told us, we believe it because it’s how we FEEL. But what’s worse is when Christians belittle us, belittle our circumstances. We come to DAB and share our reality and some of us (like me) are being attacked 24-7, from all side, around every corner, in all facets of life and it’s unrelenting, NON-STOP, can’t even SLEEP. Then Christians respond by telling us to stop dwelling on the negative, as if we’re making it up and that’s COLD. That to me is probably the deciding factor that makes people go through with commiting suicide. These are our LIFE EXPERIENCES, if we say it’s all hurt and suffering, you should believes us. As pessimistic as some people may sound, their story might actually be true, it’s called REALITY. I’m sorry if I sound angry but I feel like I know how these people were feeling who took their own lives and I think I know how the ones contemplating it are feeling right now. Sometimes I wonder if God’s test isn’t for the weak, rather for the fortunate and the strong of faith to teach them humility, compassion and understanding, to realize you have NOT walked in that person’s shoes, that it might just be as bad as they say it is, that it might just hurt as much as they say it does. Lastly, lets be REAL for a moment. When Christians respond by saying God is with you, it often DOESN’T make us lonely afflicted people feel better. I mean lets be honest, it feels better to have a presense you can actually FEEL, TOUCH, HOLD, a voice you can audibly HEAR, to visibly SEE them standing there. So to ask us to just go purely on faith, those of us who are broken, afflicted, tired, lonely, who’s storms are VERY LONG…..that standard is just too high. Then you set a trap for us to feel like we’ve already failed God for lack of faith, like we’ll never be worthy to receive his grace.
To walk around with this gapping hole in my spirits, along with being lonely. Scripture says God’s word will NOT return void but that’s exactly what I feel, void of purpose, void of meaning, void of certainty, void of self-worth, void of love(companionship). I CAN’T EVEN DREAM GOOD DREAMS IN MY SLEEP. What if I do have a demon’s curse, how did it happen? What do I do? The pain and fatigue of getting through the day is hard enough but I have to wrestle with thoughts of feeling like God is distant. But mostly all I want to do now in life is rest but life won’t let me. Which is why I REALLY want my life to end now, I don’t want to be here anymore, I’m too tired to keep fighting this fight and feeling no REAL PROGRESS, NO FRUITS OF MY LABOR. I asked God millions of times for healing, for rest, FOR A SIGN. I can’t even tell if I’m being heard. I’ve always been 110% honest with myself and with God. So I have to say……I’m sometimes afraid to pray because I’m afraid of the hurt when there isn’t a response, when the burden I’m praying about gets worse. It makes me feel I’m not even being heard, like is God even aware of my existence? It makes me feel invisible………..
chrisbates791Prayers: 1Requests: 0
September 5, 2022 at 1:14 amYou should take that advice on dwelling on the negative , it’s good advice. If your always complaining about the negative and focused on it there’s no room for the positive. Believe and you shall receive. You said you don’t believe when you pray, there’s your problem. It says in James if any man shall doubt he be like a wave tossed around in the sea. God listens and answers the prayers of those who love him. Did God ask you to change some things at some point and you didn’t listen? Free yourself of any sin in your life. God is there you’ll hear him as much as you try and listen. It takes work like any relationship ship. Prayer is talking to God…. you can do this at work. Pray without seizing the good word says. THANK GOD FOR THE BAD!!!! Many stories in scripture are about learning this lesson, to be content in all situations! God is all you need. Jesus hung on a cross and was God ! This world is fallen and difficult!! You have the power of God to get threw it if you chose! God raises up soldiers that overcome hard times. Scripture say Seek and you shall find , kock and it will be answered. Fast! Re devote your self to God and ask for guidance from the holy Ghost for accurate scripture understanding. Ask for forgiveness and to be cleaned !!! I suffered from being oppressed for over a decade and lots of jail followed it…. God was a friend of mine but this world hates me and that’s the lesson I had to learn , is to be content with just God no matter the circumstances. It’s your Point of view that’s your worst enemy right now. Blessed are you when bad circumstances come to your door and it’s a time to shine your light. maybe that’s what God wants to see, you coming out on the other side with the tools he gave you. Read , pray and believe!!! Be saturated in the word, watch you tube sermons, go to church. If you don’t have a good relationship with God the ball is in your court. That’s what being a true Christian is about , a relationship with God! Seek him!!
ronaldowilliams56Prayers: 58Requests: 7
September 5, 2022 at 6:15 amI am praying for you
spiritdoc1Prayers: 40919Requests: 2421
September 5, 2022 at 6:32 amPraying for your request🙏🏻
kathychap1Prayers: 2Requests: 11
September 5, 2022 at 7:25 amPraise God that you’ve made this a priority -praying special peace comfort for you -each breath is a gift -YOU are tho only you -you are necessary !
GCOGAPrayers: 17052Requests: 1288
September 5, 2022 at 10:37 amMay you feel Gods Shalom Gods Chosen OneGA 🙏🙏
sea_sun_wavesPrayers: 10Requests: 4
September 5, 2022 at 10:42 amHey Justin,
I very much relate to your post, especially about not being able to see, touch, or hear God. I understand how frustrating it is to have people tell you to be more positive, have more faith, pray and read the Word, go to church, etc. While all these things are good, they don’t always take away the pain. Sometimes life is just HARD and suppressing our thoughts or arguing against the reality of our feelings doesn’t help. I struggle with depression and loneliness, too. You have been more honest in this post than I ever have, which is commendable. You don’t know it, but I pray for you regularly. And I’m sure I’m not the only one. You have a very negative outlook on life, and I’m not saying this to be judgmental nor am I telling you to just think positive. That’s the nature of depression. All we see is darkness. Our brains filter out the light. My suggestion is to seek professional help again if you can. I know the loss of your previous therapist wrecked you, but others are willing to help. I’m sure he would want you to receive it. I’ve come to realize that it’s difficult to have faith when your brain is not functioning properly. We are spiritual beings, but we still live in this faulty body. That’s not your fault, but you have to ask for help and be open to getting it. God is important to you, or you wouldn’t have written this. He loves you, and He sees your pain. He offers you healing, but He’s not going to pry your hands open. You are guarded and understandably so, but help may come in a form you never expected. Don’t give up, because He won’t give up on you.
-Brianna
canciodPrayers: 174Requests: 11
September 5, 2022 at 11:29 am🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
madma16Prayers: 26Requests: 3
September 5, 2022 at 12:54 pmI’m sorry you’re struggling Brother Justin! 💜 I do care and understand since I too share similar thoughts, feelings, and want peace, joy, physical/emotional wellness, return to work or volunteer…and enjoy my life with my family God willing. (((🐼 HUGS))) Keeping you in prayer for a healing miracle over you and comfort from the Holy Spirit in Jesus’ name. 🙇🕊👼🐑👨👩👧👦💜☮️✝️ ~+~ AMEN ~+~ ~Sister Maggie
louvemthelordjesucristoPrayers: 301Requests: 19
September 5, 2022 at 11:22 pmI hear what you’re saying, I’ll pray for you. I do recommend a song to listen to but don’t feel obligated to hear it. It just immediately came to my brain after your post. “Casting all your care”. I might not understand everything you are going through, but I’ll pray for you.
livingwatersarefreePrayers: 571Requests: 209
September 7, 2022 at 8:22 amThinking of you today Justin. When I was low a song by a band called Skillet helped me through. It’s a rock song called ‘I want to live’. It’s not the answer to everything but it can help lift our mood to sing a song with a positive confession of faith.
theenlightenone236Prayers: 18Requests: 9
September 7, 2022 at 9:24 amHate to be that guy but it sounds to me that you arent feeling God because frankly you are selfish. Everything in this post was about you and your problems but see you are the problem you go on to say you are extremely friendly and kind but to me you are prideful and arrogant. Ungrateful too because you spent decades following after your desires but I don’t see you submitting to God.
Honestly, you brought this on yourself and I’m sorry but you ain’t getting sympathy from me.trinisandPrayers: 174Requests: 1
September 7, 2022 at 9:34 amHi Justin, your journey in life is definitely difficult! One important thing that is in your blind spot is “God is not speaking to you”! God uses people to execute His plans. Every time someone responds to you on DAB it’s usually God speaking words of encouragement to you. I’ve have a season of severe Anxiety where my song is “4th Man” by Jonathan & Melissa Helser. I love that song because I literally felt like Jesus was in that fire with me as in Daniel Chapter 3. I’ll pray that God orders your path so you have encounters with loving Christians that can walk this difficult path with you until you get your breakthrough. I believe God will have a Ministry for you on the other side of you recovery to help others dealing with hopelessness & depression. Be encouraged today. BTW, your virginity is a badge of honor!!! Maybe you can post your State of residence & another Dabber can meet up with you to build a friendship? Someone did that in my State & we’re friends now ( iron sharpening iron)
theenlightenone236Prayers: 18Requests: 9
September 7, 2022 at 9:34 amTake responsibility for your actions and stop blaming others for your misfortune. Your a 39 year old man act like it and please stop with the pity party.
beverly.grantPrayers: 344Requests: 2
September 7, 2022 at 10:46 amJustin , we are lifting you up to our faithful Heavenly Father, He is more than able. . . . In Acts 20:32 says: “Now I am putting you in God’s care. I am depending on the message about his grace to make you strong. That message is able to give you the blessings that God gives to all his holy people.
Justin, “Whatever you want, go to God, let your eye be ever towards him, and your dependence upon him, in all your straits and difficulties; and let this be your comfort, that you have a God to go to, a God all sufficient.” …As children, and therefore an inheritance of free love and good will. In Jesus’ Name. Amen! 🙏🙌👏
GCOGAPrayers: 17052Requests: 1288
September 7, 2022 at 11:09 amJustin; May you feel His Presence and His Shalom 🙏Gods Chosen One GA🙏🙏
goingupsoonPrayers: 20097Requests: 1132
September 7, 2022 at 1:39 pmHay Justin. God loves you. There’s NO condemnation to those who are in CHRIST JESUS who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit (Ro. 8:1). ❤
madma16Prayers: 26Requests: 3
September 8, 2022 at 12:00 am***TO ALL INSENSITIVE DAB BROTHERS & SISTERS POSTING HURTFUL COMMENTS TO OUR BROTHER…PLEASE STOP!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR HURTFUL COMMENTS ARE DOING!!! I JUST LOST MY BROTHER ON MAY 3RD WHO TOOK HIS LIFE…WHO I HAD JUST RECONNECTED WITH JUST 2 DAYS BEFORE MY ESTRANGED MOM PASSED JUST 1 MONTH BEFORE AND I ASKED HIM IF I COULD GIVE HIM A HUG…AND AGAIN AT THE FUNERAL HOME AND CHURCH. NOT KNOWING OF COURSE I WOULD NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!!! WOULD JESUS SPEAK THE WAY YOU ARE SPEAKING TO HIS SON/OUR BROTHER???…THE ANSWER IS NO!!! I AM STILL IN SHOCK AND SHAKEN BY MY BROTHER’S PASSING…AND WE HAD ALREADY LOST 2 OF MY 7 BROTHERS SEVERAL YEARS AGO. IF YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING LOVING TO SAY ON THE DAB PRAYER WALL…PLEASE DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!!! “FOR IT IS WRITTEN, JUDGE YE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED!!!” I AM BEYOND SAD READING YOUR HURTFUL COMMENTS TO OUR BROTHER, WHO HAS LONG SUFFERED AS MANY INCLUDING MYSELF HAVE AND JUST WANT PEACE OF MIND! CONCERNED SISTER IN CHRIST! ~MAGGIE
MamaDPrayers: 6Requests: 3
September 8, 2022 at 4:01 amGod I am pleading to You for my brother Justin! I speak life in Jesus name! I push back dark clouds of depression, oppression, hopelessness, loneliness, discouragement, and suicide!
Jesus You have come that Justin may have ABUNDANT LIFE!
GOD You are more than able to speak and bring my brother hope! May He feel Your perfect love. Send him a friend but more than anything Holy Spirit be his Counselor. Give peace to his heart and mind. May he meditate on Your Word day and night.
In Jesus name, Amen.
Justin may I recommend follow up with Focus on the Family. They have a crisis holiness that can pair you up with Christian counselors. They also have a free video series that is helping me break free from negative thinking called Winning the Battle with Yourself by Levi Lusko. Check it out. Take courage brother! God is our Comforter.mkdwhittedPrayers: 1193Requests: 141
September 8, 2022 at 4:14 amMay Jehovah God heal your mind, body, will, soul and emotions in Jesus name. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Blessings and peace🌸
elizabeth.jamesPrayers: 5Requests: 4
September 8, 2022 at 7:54 amYou’re walking a hard road. I commend your courage to reach out and ask for prayer. I’m praying for you, that you will find the help you need – this isn’t something to contend with alone, nor will you find the degree of support you need among lay people who have no comprehension of the depth or source of your struggles. I strongly urge you to seek the specialized help you need from a reputable, excellent therapeutic program that is tailored specifically for men facing the problems you have. One such program is Gentle Path at The Meadows. https://gentlepathmeadows.com/
rocky_sylvia0031Prayers: 12Requests: 18
September 8, 2022 at 12:02 pmOh Justin I just want to tell you I love you and I will keep you in my prayers . Believe me you are going to find God !!!!
theenlightenone236Prayers: 18Requests: 9
September 8, 2022 at 7:17 pmHey madma I don’t care and you don’t have type in all caps.
GCOGAPrayers: 17052Requests: 1288
September 8, 2022 at 7:19 pmJustin; enjoy Gods Shalom. Let Him in and surrender all to the Father. He loves us Gods Chosen OneGA 🥰🙏
mwatson123Prayers: 255Requests: 15
September 8, 2022 at 7:21 pmPraying for you Justin!
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