Hi DAB family, I’m really struggling to believe that God is going to change my situation even though I know He has come through for me in the past. In 2014, I got a job that was a cover for someone on sick leave but the lady was ready to return to work and I began to ponder on my next move in life. One option was to do a PhD even though after my Masters degree I felt I was unsure of that option. Nevertheless, I started my PhD Economics degree in September 2014 after being accepted in July 2014. For me it was great because schools don’t offer any more positions after March. I felt God was telling me to do the PhD! It was a struggle in the first month but with encouragement from family and friends I managed to keep going and complete the exams by summer of 2016. The next portion was research which I am still working on now. The supervisor who I initially had didn’t give me much time – most of the time he would miss our meetings and not tell me why or not give feedback on my work. I wasted so much time with him because I was told that there was politics in the department amongst the professors so if you switch to another supervisor, your old supervisor would see to it that you didn’t succeed. I was so heart broken and finally one of the school administrators met me crying and told the Chair of the Department who eventually became my supervisor. Given that I switched, I now still have 2 of 3 papers to write. It’s difficult to remain motivated because I feel I have wasted so much time and being in the program is not helping my relationship with my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I of six years who have been on a long distance relationship for the past five years felt we should make things right in the eyes of God by getting married. In our culture, a traditional engagement must be done before the church wedding which requires buying a few things for the girl and her family (it’s just symbolic) prior to the church wedding. However, my family has made it a point to prevent this from happening until I finish the degree. This makes me sad since everyone in my degree program is married and much older than me. In addition, my family want everything to be done in their way for the wedding despite his family and my family living in two different countries. I thought that the most important thing is the couple and the commitment they are making on the day so why not allow them to have a day that they will remember? They refuse to see where me and my boyfriend live as a middle ground. I’m turning 30 next year and am worried about my desires to settle and have a family! I’m quite fortunate that my boyfriend has remained faithful and has not complained much! It’s so hard being here doing the PhD and living by myself, working, teaching, and worrying about my relationship. I don’t have friends who I can even have fun with since everyone that I know from my degree is married or much older and usually goes about their business. I don’t know how long it will even take to finish the PhD. I don’t have a car to get around easily so have to take the bus and walk everywhere even through the snow and freezing rain. I don’t have a TV and spend most of my time working. Is it that God doesn’t love me as much? Is it that I’m not a good enough Christian? Have I taken the wrong decisions in my life? I just don’t know. The Bible says you have not because you ask not. I have taken all these worries and issues to God in prayer but the situation remains unchanged so much so that it is really testing my faith and I’m finding it difficult to understand how long it will be before everything changes. I’m worried that my belief in God is starting to turn into some unbelief because I’m not able to fully trust anymore! I ask that you please pray with me so that I feel God’s presence in what I see as quite a testing period for me. Thank you in advance for your prayers!